The frequently tedious BBC Radio 4 programme You and Yours had a great selection of UK government “help” line recordings today. Their web site says it’ll be available on their iPlayer until 12:00am Thursday 1st January 2099 so some time yet to check it out.  The examples all showing how not to do it and demonstrating the first lie of contact centres

Your call is important to us

I had my own great experience of one such “service” earlier this year – a government benefit line where the helpful person assured me that I’d been sent reminders about some entitlement for the last two years. I’d never replied. Bad boy.

I asked the address they’d sent their letters to. Unbelievably, they read out an address I hadn’t lived at for thirty years! (I think that’s worth an exclamation mark).

Oh well, that’ll probably be an issue of technology or co-ordination rather than the contact centre.

Ironically, while I was listening to You and Yours I received my fourth call of the day from a contact centre in – judging by the accents – the Indian sub-continent.  All assured me they were only doing market research and then proceeded to perpetrate the second lie of contact centres

No, we’re not trying to sell you anything

The hazards of working at home.

Anyone got more contact centre lies to add?…

(I’ll turn to the bigger question of  what can be done about these horrors in a later post)